Every Christmas our church hosts a pancake breakfast for all the foster families that are part of the foster agency we are with. Before we became foster parents we served and helped out. Last year we went as a certified foster family even though we hadn't had any children in our home yet. This year was special. It was like a well-timed reunion for us to see JJ again. She has been placed in a home that is still with our foster agency. It has been a month, today, since JJ moved.
We prepared Sarah with the possibility that she would get to see JJ. Sarah spotted JJ before we even pointed her out. The girls were both hugging and saying, "My sister is here!" I really enjoyed watching how JJ's new foster "granny" (that's what she has JJ call her) handles JJ. She was the same JJ we remember and she seemed happy.
It was also nice to get to see JJ's brother and his caretaker and we also got to see JJ's mom because it was during her visitation hours. When JJ's mom walked up, the girls were decorating gingerbread cookies next to each other. Sarah turned and saw JJ's mom behind her. She turned back to me and with pure joy and excitement exclaimed, "She made it safe!" I almost burst into tears right there. I was not expecting my almost 2.5-year-old to process that kind of thinking so quickly and there was so much love and joy that oozed from her in that moment.
Let me explain.
We told Sarah two reasons for why JJ was moving:
#1 Our job as parents is to keep our kids safe and Sarah is our biological child and we need to keep her safe. JJ was doing things that were not safe to Sarah. Our example that we knew Sarah would remember was when JJ shoved her down at the baseball game and Jonathan thought maybe Sarah's arm got broken because of how and where she fell. We just choose the one example for Sarah.
#2 We were having JJ live in our home while her parents were given time to make good choices and make it safe for JJ to live with them again. Sadly, JJ's parents didn't make it safe and so JJ is going to live with someone that she can stay with for a long time.
SO, "safe" was a word we used a lot with the girls in regards to parents. Sarah seeing JJ's mom there assumed that meant she had made it safe and that's why she could see JJ again. She was so happy for JJ and her mom. Considering Sarah is just two-years-old, I didn't get into explaining parental rights and visitation. I just let her enjoy that moment and let her think whatever her little happy brain was thinking. That moment replayed in my mind throughout the day though.
